CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Today I wake up quite early at 6.30am
I went for the Psychology and Economics class..

Then I met Bii at the mall :)
*the most happiest moment

Suddenly...........
turns sorrow

He was not happy with the lunch I think - Hainan Chicken Rice
Suddenly, I felt He doesn't care about me
He walked across the road, walked so fast,
without looking back,
where I am
But I still following Him from the back
coz' I know
I have to be with Him
always
no matter what

I've cried after realize that when I walked away from Him
telling Him that I'm done with Him
I can't stand anymore
turned the other way round

I felt so uneasy
I just need Him by my side
no matter what

In the evening, like what we promised
we met at jetty
He walked me to the waiting side of the ferry
I know I will felt hard to say goodbye there

but I have to
at the last..

He was so caring,so loving
Just my perfect CheeKian
We gonna meet after 2days more

Countdown--Countdown

Today I've came across a beautiful girl's blog
She is really pretty :)
Sigh.........
I wish that in future I will be pretty too

Can I?
I like those fair skin,
soft & smooth hair,
small and kissable lips,
thick eyebrows,
beautiful and seducing eyes
so so so so............
PRETTY

I'm wondering,
What do Bii think about me
Does He think that I'm kind, pretty , ugly or smart or
how..
But he never say anything

Deep in my heart
I know I should make a change,
a make-over
But how
I don't know

I just know
that everything will come as the time comes

See ya til the next blog :)

CHAPTER SIXTHTEEN

Today is an ordinary day.
But I do feel uneasy today...
Just when I called Him, He did not answer my call.
I’m so anxious, worried.
Am I over care about Him?
Sometimes I might think I’m doing something over than it should be.
Things don’t always turn up the way we want it to be.
Or in another way – the more we give, the more we might get disappoint.
I think it is human nature.
I think I should learn to love myself more, thus to protect myself.
What will be will be, right?
I get a nap-mare today.
The scenes were so scary.
I just don’t wanna get through it, I hope.
What will be, will be.
With no doubt and realization,
We have shared >>
139days, 3336hours, 200160minutes, 12009600seconds.
TOGETHER…….
We together is a blessed fate.
Honestly, I hope to grow old with Him. 


-Andrea,19th May 2011-

CHAPTER FIFTHTEEN

-The 5th day of college life-

Everything started to be changing at the first step of mine to this new place in Penang island
to a place that seems quite familiar to me,
but now
it get more and more close to me
On the last 12th June, Sun,
I move into the college's hostel
Before this,
I always wondering how is it like to live outside,
on my own,
living my own live,
perhaps to have more and more freedom..
However,
when the day came,
I felt I started to regret that I wanted it so much before this

Honestly,
I started to miss home,
Daddy,
Mummy,
Brother,
My bed,
Mummy's cook,
and
lots
lots things that I used to do before when I'm used to be at home

The course orientation started very awkwardly,
seriously to say
I'm quite shy and scared
However, I did pushed myself to go through it
because as mummy said,
No one knows me there,
I have to change my character.
to be more talkative, initiative, good for sure..

I don't know much..
I don't like to have so much pressure here..
I prefer it to be more light, relax and fun
well....college life, isn't it?

Time passes very fast,
today is Friday,
perfectly close to weekend
I'm going home later
to visit my family
as the first reason :)
I feel truly happy
the first feeling I felt
the day I'm waiting for..

Home Sweet Home

_Andrea_ Friday,17thJune2011

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

It has been awhile I didn't update the blog.
I've been so much in these days,
Life is so tough,
I feel like wanna run away from everything and stay in a deserted place..

Maybe that would make me more better,
but.........
there's something behind - deep inside my heart that I am holding on.
Too much..

Am I in relationship ?
Or am I just a burden for Him?
Why He always complain about me?

Am I not good enough ?
He never praise me, even a word....

I used to be confident in front most of people, but
in front of Him, I lose it..
I become timid,
I feel so small,
so timid..
The feeling is not that good at all..

Today we argue because of past things..

I'm just like, Oh God, How long could I keep holding on being like this ?
Being untrusted..
Struggle alone..
Suddenly I feel so empty inside!

I wanna let Him to know, I need Him..
I don't wanna waste my time, I want Him to be my Mr.Right..

I wanna tell Him what's in my mind, before it's too late

_to be continued_

-Andrea, 12th May 2011-

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Countdown 0Day

Weehee..today We met..
went for a date..
not bad I could said, but we did argue :(
But it's okay..at least we can be together,
it would be more than enough.

Life ain't always come the way we want it to be

-Andrea, 29th April 2011-

CHAPTER TWELVE

Countdown 5Days

I was on the phone with Mickey like we used to be..
But,
The different was -
Already TWO days, He asked me to sing Him a song..
Just a simple one..
But, I'm too shy =(
He was so upset.. That even a simple task like that, I can't fulfil Him..
The first song I sang was "My Heart Will Take You Home"..
He like it!

Today, as what I promised Him;
I will sing Him one =)
I am so nervous right now..
I hope He won't laugh me.......

_to-be-continued_

-Andrea,24th April 2011-

CHAPTER ELEVEN

COUNTDOWN 10DAYS

Everything going quite well today..

But there's something bothering my mind..
I get nightmare again..
The second time~

Today I feel kind of tired..
I'm started to feel tired of faking smile but deep in the bottom of my heart, I'm crying..

I keep telling myself to be strong..
Mickey want me to be so....
But I'm doing really hard...........
I already trying my very best..
Do He knows ?

I'm used to be a very strong and tough one, but when I'm facing Mickey, I started to become weak~

I tell myself not to be so..I want His attention, although He's not that every time..
I'm changing, improving my attitude..
I'm no longer that little princess..
I want to be the CHONG CHEE KIAN's "little woman" !!

I will be.....

I know It's not gonna be easy!
It's going to be really hard..
We gonna have to work at this every day but I want to do that because I want you, babe!
I want all of you everyday, forever..
You & Me every day
Just Us Two .......

Babe, 我任不住了。。
我很想哭。。
是我太依赖你了。。

Every time the stronger I wanna be, the more empty my heart will be..
I need you understand me..I want you care me more..
I need your attention..

But I can't be selfish..
So, I end up this way,
locking myself this way..

I rather sad myself than to burden you..
I know you don't like to be stress or burden..
So, I should sacrifice, I'll be more independent..

But I hope ..
I beg....If one day I can't take it anymore and cry,
Hope you won't angry me..

I want you to be happy, then, it's worth..
Everything is worth..

And again I want to tell you so much that I miss you!!
But I didn't tell you in the phone,
coz I scared you will bored..
I didn't do so..
I'm really down..
I didn't tell..
I will get over it myself
Don't worry me
But it's really killing me!

I wish you would speak before I did..

Even though sometimes I know you miss me,
but i NEED you to say it to me
I need to hear it
It would make me more happy and concern
Really.....It would.

Give me some time....
I truly love you..
Just You..

That's all for today..

Goodnight, Mickey..
From the _SadMinnie_

-Andrea, 20th April 2011-