It’s past midnight. Dark and drizzly. I used to listen to the midnight radio channel. As the music takes place, I loved to glance back and started to think and imagine – sometimes they were things that out of my based line and they were usually pop out in an abnormal way – on the perspective of others.
A situation strikes my mind. Here it comes across the length and breadth of the capital traffic-choked roads are eerily empty, thronging high streets and the shelter under bridges have turned into a lane for the homeless, and tucked snugly away in a million bedrooms, under a million duvet, millions of Malaysians are sleeping, snoring, dreaming.
Most, but not all.
In the other side of social world – the dark side, millions of people are socializing in the millions of nightclubs in the country. They are used to call as the “night-ghosts”. Tones of beers, lots of flirting cases, DJs play their parts, scratching the turntablis, entertaining the clubbers.
A part of Malaysians, but not all.
Different people, different places, different lives. And one connection. A radio. An FM frequency. And the fact they’re all listening to the same show somehow.
The song entitled, “Cry on My Shoulder” is faded out as the DJ strikes up.
It seems as if I’ve had been doing pretty tough recently. Yes…sort of.. With sympathetic emotions, I started describe myself – to myself.
Well, I suppose I’m rather a strong one. I thought I had went through much tough times. Falling into pieces and then rise again after recovering, meeting lots of different and interesting people as I grew elder. I also learn to judge by myself what is wrong and what is right.
A part wistfully, part lovingly.
Honestly, at first, I had no confidence in looking for a special someone. Perhaps, I never thought that I would accept one in future. Unable to hide the disbelief in myself, I’m actually scared being in relationship. Love might be sweet, but it also might cause in broken-heart when the one you love hurts you.
However, meeting Mickey makes me an attempt to match my level of enthusiasm and then breaks off, dumping my phobia away.
That’s a relief because no one would believe the past one I had, it was a total disaster. It was actually making me not to mention about that nightmare anymore but as I think back again, it was kind of childish. It was just the most idiot thing I had ever done in my life.
Listening to the lonely hearts radio show makes me believe in destiny, in fate, in the miracle of the universe. I believe we have no control over love. Either it’s going to happen or it’s not...
Malaysian’s full of single people searching for that special someone.
That’s how I met Mickey. How should I describe Him – my soul mate?
Well, I don’t know until I’ve met Him, do I?
We both knew this unexpected one might have hurt or others would be rejected but we have no control over it. If we could make no one getting hurt, we would. I am always doing the best I can; if I could do better, I surely would. And when I can, I surely will.
Being with Mickey is not about to fix the broken heart of mine as I’ve really really totally recovered just before I be with Him.
Again... How should I describe Him ?
Okay, well let’s see... He is funny, and kind, faithful..
Of course..These are needed being all matey.
...and spiritual, passionate, warm, and romantic...
However, sometimes, He was not that sensible on certain things, for example how I might feel, what I will think, or how am I gonna react. But it’s okay because what comes sometimes doesn’t in the perfect package we want it to be.
Nobody is perfect.
_to be continued_
-Andrea,13th April 2011-
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